Go Placidly amid the noise....

I shipped my "California Poppies off to Boston last week and today I am trying to do another one. I woke up missing my mom and all things California. It was a hard weekend for me on a personal level but there is some fun coming this next weekend in which I will be in my happy place and that is among the woods. I find solace in the quiet and love having a dog tagging along. As a child growing up in Northern California I was surrounded with adventure, family ski trips, camping trips, hikes , drinking out of the hose, playing sports and always looking for a boyfriend :)

As I painted this am, it consisted of a dance between trying to break through with a half cleaned studio and fighting the imposter syndrome of being a true artist. It is a constant dance of quieting and noticing your shoulders tight, self talk of "loosen up Rebecca" and then reminding to just play. For every artist there is a chance that the end process and what it will be will shadow the joy of play and the reminder to just be present with your strokes. Its 1:40 and Ive had a pop tart and two coffees and less than 8 hours of sleep and I know it, not a good combo. For some reason I was built to have results all the time and art and beautiful paintings don't work like that . Those results are the defaults of a people pleasing nature that comes out every now and then even though I've told myself I don't do that anymore and then you catch it and it all makes sense. The journey is to become the best version of yourself every day and add some grace to that !

So I need to take a break and then my mind went to "Desiderata" I can almost recite the whole thing by memory and so I know its my Mothers way of saying "hello. " She raised me with quotes and affirmations , her strengths came from abandonment and abuse and the abandonment followed to the next generation but we all are aware that everyone has something they are fighting to not pass on.

But that is a story for another day.

" Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious of spirit. If you compare yourself with others , you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself . Especially do do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the fave of aridity and disenchantment, it is as pe

rennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

nuture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings . Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself . You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with GOD, whatever you conceive him to be. And whatever our labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham and drudgery and broken dreams. It is still a beautiful world . Be cheerful, strive to be happy."

Thank you Max Ehrmann 1927